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Hello, all good afternoon. This is a I'm calling from India. And this is my second talk. I got really excited that the first dog happened and I wanted to keep talking. So I just came online and give another talk the Happy Valentine's day part 2. So basically I understood that when people send a request. I can only talk to one person at a time. But I'm not very good at technology. So I'm gonna request you all to send notes so that I can reply when you're when you're speaking when I mean when you request for over you're speaking so that I can reply to them by talk anyways, so happy Valentine's Day. What I want to talk about right now is about pain. So I am undergoing grief of two forms. One is that of a breakup and one is out of death. So about a breakup or if it is related to Valentine's day as my boyfriend broke up with me and one is of death is of a sudden death of a colleague. She was very close to me. She was just like a mother to me and all of a sudden we got a call the day before yesterday and it's said that she's no more because you met with an accident. So I went to see her and everybody was worried about me because they didn't know how I would handle looking at her in the state of how she is. It's very difficult. Okay, it's married. If you don't know why people like, you know, as long as the soul is alive in the body, they call them with their name. Once the soul is gone. The my name is gone and they call them a body. Yeah, the body has come. Yeah, the body has to go home to go home for a post-mortem. Why don't they call people by name? I mean it's so like isn't it disrespectful? I find personally very disrespectful. Why do they just named it a body in that person have a life. Then that person have a name did that person have respect. So they say let's go and do the body come home with the body do this. I mean did the body go undergo a post-mortem. So it's very it's very difficult to see that person. Who was Lively and talking all of a sudden no more. It was very difficult for me to overcome that and her face kept reflecting in my eyes and it was just the curve. It was a continuous Echo like an echo like a continuous unstopping tape, which was on repeat her face, which I could not forget even today like it was just it just happened three days ago. I usually send Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends close ones the people who made a difference in my life. I'm a kind of person who doesn't text a lot of people at this every day, but on certain occasions, I sent them a good night message and that will be a general message for everybody. So I am sending out a Happy Valentine's Day to everybody but it's like I remember them on these particular days, but I don't it's not like I forget them but it's just very it's very different. So happy Valentine's day part two is about how you have to respect others. Also equally I know like, you know certain people hurt you and you hurt others and there is difference in relationships and people leaving you people leaving you happens over that happens a lot. They say I see coats like I Quotes where they say that people leave you it's their loss and you have to move on but their memory stay don't they and it hurts you for example, if you go out to the same restaurant you and your friend used to go to all the time. You would remember them. You would remember them. You would remember what you ate what you spoke but that person is no more in your life that it's not I'm not talking about death, but I'm talking about like a friendship breaking or a breakup of a relationship or anything of that sort So it's very difficult that you find that like, you know, the loss loss is very difficult. Valentine's Day should remember should remind you of the people whom you love not about the people whom you lost is just about people whom you love even if you lost them you did love them someday, right? It does not have to be that you did not love them or like you would even if they come back to you. They will be some percentage of Love For Love towards them. So love yourself also. I mean, it's very hard. I don't know like I'm having a very tough time trying to love myself. I keep telling myself, you know, you should love yourself, you know, love yourself. This is another day. It's just another day. It's just another mistake, but you have to learn to love yourself, but it is such a difficult task to look into the mirror and say you are pretty you are beautiful eyes. You are this you are that in my previous talk someone wrote your attic speaker won't it wouldn't be confident for It is not at all easy going up on stage and talking all the time. It is not easy. Trust me and the confidence is very it's very difficult. You know, and the thing is I talked my story. I'm very honest. Okay, I don't worry about what other people say, but I still worry do you get what I'm trying to say? Like, I don't worry about what other people think of me, but I still worry, but they think of me. Do you get it like you get the pun in the statement? So what happens right now is that you you should learn how to filter what you have to taken filter it if people are telling you you are no good filter why I think think why they made that statement that they make that statement for what reason did they make it? Don't just personalize. It. Don't just take it in just like that and and make comments about everything about it. Don't just pass. Personalize it and see that no no no. No. No, no, everything is wrong with me if they see you're no good. Why did they say? You're no good in what circumstance did they say? You're no good in what situation with this a you're no good? So you have to analyze this analyze the situation at it very important time. It's very important to analyze it and think about it and say that okay, look this statement was made in this situation at this point of time. It may be true. It may not be true and I go for therapy. So during my therapy I used to tell people my therapist used to tell me that when I used to tell him that look this happened to a main office or this happen to me. in this situation Do you tell me that he tells me that his reaction is his or her reaction is their problem? How will you take it is your problem? Do you get you get what I'm saying? His or her reaction is their problem if they are angry it's their problem, but it's about how you take it. I'm so sorry, but I could not accept your call. I will learn how to do it, but I would prefer if you could leave messages. So that I can reply to them or what? Okay, because I'm still getting used to it my tech mind. I'm not very tech savvy. So depression is very difficult. Okay depression is very very difficult and having a mental illness is not easy. It can be of any form some people go undiagnosed. Okay, they they don't know they have a mental illness and they suffer a lot by that. I realized I had a mental illness when I attempted suicide, but that doesn't and I'm I was diagnosed for it. But there are so many people in this world who don't know that they are suffering from what they are suffering. They just did you suffer alone because they don't know whom to approach because the people whom they approach they don't take them they take them for granted and they don't know what to do how to listen to them how to take it. Yeah. I know I have to take Mark but then I can only talk to one person at a time. So I will just try that. Okay? Yeah, I will definitely try that. Mr. Rohan so what I wanted to say was this Valentine's Day. I just I don't know. I just felt like talking and I didn't know who to talk to because I don't talk to my friends anymore because I'm very bad at groups. I'm very bad at group. Some scare people judge me all the time some very bad groups. I just keep to myself and I try to like, you know, make an attempt to talk to people, but I don't I just sit there and I just try not to talk to people. So I connected to mr. Ronnie. I think it's just still connecting. I hope he can hear me or can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear me you? Hello. I am so sorry. I'm not able to hear you. I think in you please drop me a message. It would be very very kind of you all. If you could just drop me a message. Hello. Can you hear me? I can't hear you. That's just some. Some technical issues. I can't hear you like minded people. If you you should have to like many people it had become out of your depression. The problem with me is I talked to like minded people. Okay, like I became friends with on guy who was who also is a survivor of depression. He told me the only thing I can talk to you about the Russian so I don't want to talk to you anymore. I was so heartbroken that day. I was like, oh my God, why do people leave by different reasons for people to leave and I started blaming me. A number so hard that they ended up binge eating I went to a restaurant and I sat there and I ate I ordered so much and I eat whatever I can what would I could there's a person here was asking what suggestions for Valentine's Day for Valentine's Day. If you don't have a date go go on a date by yourself. That's all I would suggest because that's what I did yesterday. I was so hungry. I was so upset. I was so hot. I went on a date by myself. I sat I ordered a nice soup hot soup because it was really cold. And I had some nice nachos and I made sure that I don't binge eat because this is really hungry and my minion makes me want to binge eat and I sat and I ate and it was really good and I went back home and I cried my eyes out and I went to sleep. So talk to someone who's been abandoned but still happy so it's about talking to someone who's been abandoned and still happy. You know, it's very difficult to find someone who's abandoned. You know happiness is a choice binge eating is a hobby. That's true. That's very true binge eating sometimes binge eating happens out of control also K because it's about your emotions are involved when you're eating and you do you're not aware. You're not aware when you eat like you don't enjoy Yeah, but you eat you just eat because you have to we have to fill your stomach have to fill the void. You have to feel the numbness. That's why you've been jit you binge it not because you love eating there's lot of difference between the two there are people who eat because they love eating binge eating is different like when they go to a buffet and they see so much of food. They enjoy it. They cherish every every meal which is present there every dish which is present, but when you binge eat You don't cherish anything you just eat to fill the void The Emptiness in you. It's it's kind of a difficult thing to stop binge eating. That's why a lot of people with depression you find our are a little obese and they are fat some people don't eat at all. They feel so insecure they get into anorexia and they don't eat at all just because they feel so insecure about themselves and it is so not their fault. It's because of it's because of the depression and you don't blame yourself when you're feeling low. It's okay to feel what you're feeling. It's totally okay. You don't have to feel sad and then we like a your ymf even like this and things like that. Okay, so then I mister shubham you can you can you can message me I'm not able to accept calls. But if you text me I will definitely reply to every text of yours. It would be very kind of you if you could text me. So what I wanted to talk about again is Valentine's Day. It's a tough day for a few people. It's a tough day for a lot of people and it's a very nice day for many more people because It's the day of love. It's the day people remember remember and say that know why I'm in love with someone. Oh, I'm lonely today and people make funny means that you're lonely. It's not funny. It's really not funny. What are you doing this on Tuesday? I'm just alone and it's not a funny thing. Sometimes it hurts to be alone. There's a lot of difference to be alone and feel feeling lonely. You know guys know about that feeling lonely and being alone sort of difference between the two. so today I'm feeling a bit lonely because I'm alone and it's different, you know, could I get five minutes? Yeah, surely you can get five minutes. Once I'm done with the talk. You can please send me a request. I will talk to you personally. It would be very nice to figure if you could do that. Thank you so much. Mr. Happy if your name is mr. Happy I'm hiding in my office and speaking to you all hints though. There will be a spring here and there if you guys can hear it, I don't want to stay in office. I just want to run away somewhere go home or run away to some place and just chill out and relax. There are so many people suffering from loneliness. Why don't they just get form Pairs and go on dates? Don't get it. I don't get it. Tell me see people who are lonely if they don't get those to get to see if they took get together does not mean the loneliness will go away. That's what I spoke about. I was in a relationship and it made me feel no new just because you're in a relationship does not mean you will not be lonely. It's about how you treat yourself. It's about self-love. It's about self-care. But how do you teach yourself spirituality again coming towards spirituality? It's about how people take it how people take it. Okay spirituality can be defined in different manner different forms, and it's just it's just like that. What is spirituality for you need not me spiritual for me. Okay, so it's about being not really if your spiritual you'll never feel lonely. It's not it's not really true because what exactly what I just said spirituality for you need not be spiritual for me. What is spiritual for you need not be spiritual for me and my definition of spirituality is completely different. So it's varied. It's totally it's totally different. You know, I don't like people a lot of people tell me do yoga do meditation to go do this go do that go for a walk, but I don't do anything. I just sit on my bed and just listen to the same song. Over and over and over and over again till till my yours clothes and I fall asleep and but Jung dull and Durga loneliness will go right out of the window. Would you like to know? Yeah, I won't like to know but I'm very adamant. I kind of don't listen to anybody. So I'm sorry about that. I follow my own methods of just trying to survive the day. But you don't they'll and Durga something. Okay, I'll just go through that. See I am I'm a Hindu I go to Temples I go to only particular temples and which I believe in. Okay, so there's a lot of friends in that so I don't go to all temples I go to only a few temples which I believe in. Yeah, you can get your five minutes, but see there's some problem in my phone. I'm not able to hear anybody. Who's who's talking? So if you would text me it will be very nice of you. Okay? I'm sorry about that. There's something wrong. I'm not able to listen to you anybody's called no more that I accept. I'm not able to hear so I'm sorry about that. Okay anyways, so but in 80s, but Jai SRI Ram. Yeah, it's there's no harm in being an atheist and a lot of people who are atheists. Okay, so it's kind of nice. It's kind of a different feeling altogether. Hmm, so I'm not going to talk. What Hinduism are Muslim Christianity or or any other Islam or any other form of things because I'm not a kind of person who kind of like, you know promotes anything of that sort. I'm very neutral. I don't promote anything in my talks. So my talk is about how I'm going to overcome this breakup. You should understand your strengths through understanding your chakra terkoz and energies. Yeah, my dad tells that yeah. My dad talks about charka Char cross and all that. I kind of went to the South gurus inner engineering. It was kind of nice. Yeah, it's I get lonely but it's difficult to be alone. Okay. Yeah, it is difficult to be alone. My sister keeps telling me you should be happy when you're alone. You should learn to be happy when you're but I don't get it. How do you be happy when you're alone? It's very difficult. Like you know, I don't know. So, how about someone asking you what would you want? Um, hey Sangeeta. Yeah. Now are you getting my voice? Yeah, I can hear. Your order please. Okay. Am I not audible enough? Okay, that's awesome. Hey, I've been listening to you for I feel like 2 to 3 minutes ago. And you were talking about spirituality. Yeah, so I just want to know a bit more about spirituality because what I believe is spirituality is not about putting your like putting yourself into a position or a place where you are calm and we just think in nothing. It's not about that. Yep. It's all about getting your mind mind concentrated in a way that you could simply. To collate things and you could get to know like what sort of thoughts are going through. So it is all about Clarity of your mind what you think. Define different for different people. Okay, it's not spirituality is your definition of spirituality for me. So it is all about you know, just just sitting and trying to get except the silence. That is what I learned about spirituality and I feel that's what spiritualities for me because I am not able to do that. I cannot stay in our lane a side nor can I be silent for more than 30 seconds? So why would you like to stay silent? I told you Anna very restless. I'm a very restless person and I'm not I have never I the minute I try like I went to this place called or oval and pondicherry weather and people go inside and they just go there for meditation. I could not stay the equals pin drop silence the silence ate me up. I close my eyes so that I could hear myself breathe. So first of all get me acquainted with it, like I you really wanted yourself to be at spirituality see the topic right now is not about spirituality because I don't know much about spirituality but there's a person here who's talking about spirituality. I think okay. Oh, no Let It Be yeah, even this is some sort of sophisticated topic. I neither want to talk about it. I feel like you're talking so that's how I opted for. No problem. It was very kind of you to talk to me because it is a very difficult topic and and people did. Yeah, that's what I said official spiritual. Yeah. It is sort of a meditation would be a thing that could be practiced easily for us for regular people and it's a bit easier even to get their life in the right track depends on what kind of meditation in English If you just breathe, then you do the you do the normal reading exercise who are mentally a little bit not okay. Okay, and even for that that is because of their mind isn't functioning that the weight is should I don't mean that they are hypocritical at all. It is as simple like just to articulate things easily. You've got to put up things in that layer in that hierarchy. Yeah, get your work. Yeah, so it is all about the meditation would simply help you to arrange things in that sequence so that you could simply like get things in that particular order. Yeah, but the problem is I don't want to get out of bed. How do I set up getting into order and things like that? That's the problem. Yep. That's the clarity. Yep. Go ahead feel like getting out of bed. So I didn't mean that though. I mean to be simply like in your level of Mind in the mental level. Yeah, the clarity in your mental level would help you to even take for your actions. If you could handle up to your mind everything would do so yeah, that is when I'm a bit. I'm a bit stable that happens when I have little bit of hold a little bit of hold with with myself with my breathing and with my control with what I'm doing. That's not there. Then I'm I will not be able to I would not be able to concentrate on anything. Let alone my breathing. I would not be able to concentrate on work or eating or anything. Right. Hey just for the context. Could I get to know about what could I get to know a bit about you? Yeah sure about me is that I'm 25 the traffic Hub of India. Yeah, it's company a metallic speaker. I'm an author. I'm a poet and I am what else about me? I have bipolar disorder. I have bought law enforcement. Disorder I tag myself with these two bit cause it's who I am and I'm not ashamed of it though. I've got no idea about it. Just a little. Yep. Just a little elaboration. I just want to know a bit about so the boat giving a little bit more about information about it in my next few talks. So if it would be it would be a repetition right? So can I talk about it again? I might not be there. There's a chemical imbalance in the brain things in people and person's personality has a lot of imbalance which means a lot of therapy and bipolar needs medication and therapy. Okay. He like this is really appreciated. You've accepted your flowers and all that. That's pretty rare. You're awesome man. You've got to be going somewhere at the peak is of everything I could ask to you. Yeah. Yeah, so that's all what I had to talk to you because yeah. All right. Yeah, of course you can have a great day. Yeah. Hi. Hello, can you hear me? Hello? Yeah, I can hear you now you can speak. Okay. Well, I have a lot of question. First of all, my name is Lauren and I'm from Delhi. Hi. Hello. How are you doing today? Yeah, I'm doing random random. Yeah, what does that means? That means that? My first talk and do my second Rock and I'm feeling really excited about it. So, okay. Okay, welcome to open talk and I'll listen to your first podcast. It was really interesting and all the topic you were talking about about mental health. Yeah. So what do you have you have depression or bipolar? I want to talk about that bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. Okay. So what is bipolar? ER and I then I'm going to ask you a question because my father had it OKC bipolar disorder as I said before, were you able to listen to the previous conversation to help a person I join in the middle, then we couldn't like you can accept any yeah, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes extreme mood swings, you know, you become Manic and depressed in it's like a pendulum your mind plays games with you like it's like a pendulum well, And then you come down not pendulum. It's a wave like the troughs and the highs highs and lows. Okay borderline personality disorder, which is a basically a personality disorder which are relationships self-harm anxiety and stuff like that. So go for therapy for that and I take medication for bipolar. Okay? Okay, so tell me does someone gets aggressive. They have bipolar I get aggressive. Okay, and how long when you have the symptoms? How long does it last? It depends from person to person. Like right now, I'm in the manic States. Okay, and I get very aggressive able to handle certain things. I become really like The Break-Up made me manic like I had at least and it made me really Manic and not depressed. I don't know what reason but I get really aggressive. I shout a lot ice cream at home and I tend to control myself, but it goes out of hand sometimes last for a few weeks some slots for a few days some Force. People are lost for a few months. Hmm friends. That's why you need to take you need to go for regular therapy and medication have regular medication. So does it does it is delicious to a point where you want to harm yourself or other person when you get aggressive? Yes, could we just depends on how severe the Mania is? So that's why you need to be under a constant pain medication. Like you have to like visit your doctor like how you visit your doctor once in a while for your diabetes and other checkups. So you have to do that as well. Okay, but is it curable or is it like something that's going to stay with you forever? See from a bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain, but you can handle it. You can learn how to see for me. I'm able to identify when I become manic I can feel it. So I tell my inner circle which is my family that I'm getting into mania. So can you help me out? And it's a little bit depression. So your inner circle is very important that you have a very good Inner Circle who help you identify when you're manic when you're depressed so that they can help you deal with when the symptoms are there before you hit the pit. Okay, okay, because my father and I decided to sort it's basically therapy see for example Bill to tell you how to react when your friend leaves you there's no Filter, there's no pill for that. It's about how you how your personality is how you younger that? I used to self-harm if my friend says anything to me. Sorry to hear that so before so once I dealt with it one human foot, they taught me how to react to such kind of situations. So if my friend says anything to me now, I think about it. I react how I'm supposed to react. So if before I used to immediately self-harm or before I used to take any Decisions not just thinking about it and I'd be like, okay should I do it? Should I not do it? Why was the statement made and things like that? Okay. How long have you had them? How long have we have? No need that you're bipolar. I I was diagnosed in 2014 when I attempted suicide, but now I'm taking medication I take I take a lot of medication for it, but I'm also going for therapy. Okay. Was it the same time are you? Broke up with your boyfriend. No, I broke up with my boyfriend one month ago one month ago. Okay, so you've been on medication for six years. So what my question was, is it curable or is this something that you have to learn to live with see you have to learn to live with but you can You can see the thing is it's bipolar. You have to learn to live with it. But you can manage it you can manage how you react with people but medication the medication part of it depends from person to person. Some people are used to take medication. Most some people don't take medication. They don't take medication, but they know how to handle it. See if they get going. You have to put them on medication. You can't just leave them alone, right? Okay. So with the medication you can just suppress the symptoms and You can you'll be just fine. Yeah, you'll be able to handle it. You don't like for example, if I get really anxious and it become like yesterday. I had a panic attack at work. So I've been given a request medication. So I think it kind of calms me down. Okay, so what helps more like the therapy or the medication what helps more of both? Okay. So you see UCS icon psychiatrist or psychologist or both both of them? Okay, and Both work together like like for example in India in India is very very very less. But in a bra in the abroad countries, they work together like the psychiatrist. The psychologist was talks to the cycle. I mean talks to the patient then discusses with the psychiatrist what the symptoms are what she's going or he is going through and then they prescribe the medication. Okay. Hopefully they figure out a plan of action like the course of treatment for them exactly because it's more about symptoms. Mmm, based on what the patient? Okay, so it varies from so it varies from person to person. Yeah, it does no blood report to show that this person is suffering from excess of thyroid or this person thyroid hormone or this person is suffering from this that there's no blood report. It's only about what the what the person is going through is only when the person speaks out and that is only to a trusted person. There is a psychologist. Okay, I'm studying psychology. I'm going to start soon. My master Master's in psychology, and I'm doing this because in 2017 a lot of my mother who was very close to who I was really close to and she was my everything. So I got into depression. I still don't know but I think I would like 98% I was sure that I had depression and PTSD. Hmm, so I haven't reached done. Research and Nora have been to doctor never been on medication because I didn't even have money to go see a psychiatrist. It's been three years. So what was happening to me? I stopped eating. I stopped sleeping. I will take shower for days. I would I would just lock myself into room. Yeah, and I all I was doing is drinking every evening by myself and just staring at the walls. Like all of that is clinical depression, and it's very difficult to come out of that and It's great that you got came out of it and you're doing so much. So I chose to you. Thank you very much. I came out of it because having so much time on my hands and not wanting to do anything and locking myself in the house and was like, the my even my living condition was terrible like the place. I was living the rats were jumping around me the lizard the past like really terrible condition. So I used to talk to someone huh continue. So I was talking to someone online girl that I met. Online and she used to talk to me. She's a nice person and she gave me very a lot of time. I wasn't even talking to my friend. Nobody wanted to talk to nobody want you to rock beer on me even including my family. So she helped me because I got to know her she would be there for being as slowly and slowly I start to feel better without medication, but she was the first question. Yeah. She was the first person to tell me that you might be depressed. You should so go and see a doctor, but I didn't even have money. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So the bipolar condition are the question that I asked you. My father was an alcoholic like really bad but my sister who has taught him. You knew she had done research. She he was a trunk for like 20 30 years which killed him in the end, but she said that he will also a bipolar which means he would get really aggressive sometime like four months. He would go absolutely. Lutely crazy. Yeah, that's what I said. It might take months. It may take days. It may take weeks. It depends on Person to Person. Yeah, the funny thing the pattern was like the one day he would be absolutely fine. You cannot tell that this person has mental health issues. Exactly. That's next. Yeah, and next day. I am not even ashamed to say this he would take off his clothes. He would get naked and go on the street. Can you believe that? Yeah. It happens. That's that's that's that's mental illness, and I wanted to move the stick. That's why I want to talk about it. Yeah, it's so dangerous. It can affect someone Health someone mental health physical health and also the family children and everybody everyone everyone in the family of your relationship with your friends your family your sibling your mom and dad everything including your job. It can destroy your whole life. So I knew like what I've been through like what I suffered, but I didn't know the whole detail so it's been really good to listen to you coming. He liked going to the details and you have and you have done a great for yourself to coming out of it and being able to talk about it. Openly. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. So how do you feel about Valentine's Day since it's Valentine's Day Valentines? Is really sucky for me, I guess. Okay. Can I ask you a question simple question? Your ex the one you broke up with do you think he is worthy of the the know and then why do you feel sad about this? You should be happy that's sad. It's not sad. It's just that I'm just really I don't know. It's just the social media pisses me off man. It does. I mean it's like they are like rubbing it on your face the this a yeah, you see all Yeah, the romantic stuff. Yeah, the the heart-shaped balloon all the decoration but people doing messages song. Everything is like teasing you rubbing it on your face. Yes. You said that it's a sucky feeling like about the state death. So part of me makes me believe that you haven't really gotten out over it yet. It's difficult to get over something which was there for a long time, but it will get oh, I will get over it eventually, you know. Oh God, I really hope you do and you can do it suit. So have you have you done TED Talks? Yes to okay. So how do I found you on YouTube? You just find Google. My name's Anita program on Google. You'll find me. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Do you have to go now? Do you have to talk take another call? Yeah, I have to thank you. Alright. Take care. Have a good day. Bye bye. Hello. Yeah. Hi. So basically everybody is online and I've been on call for 40 minutes. Hello my lunch. So all of you. Please have lunch have a great Valentine's Day with some other story to talk about because I love talking and I'm feeling really good. So take care of people by hello. Hello.