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hi all I just got done with lunch, and I just want to talk about my heartbreak story because it's it's a bit difficult for me to speak about it with my friends as I have depression and I have Borderline Personality Disorder, so I kind of don't trust anybody so since You are all who are listening and just want to hear stories and just want to have a talk. I mean listen to people who are having heartbreaks and different kinds of emotions and things like that. I thought I will give myself some let like I'm finding it very difficult to speak about it, but I want to talk about my heart big story. So I met this guy last year in March for an event and things hit off from there. He's from a different city. It was very difficult initially. It was very different. I mean it was like as though first law of the things were very the things were nice. It was hitting off and you all know what it's like right to be in love and it was like the honeymoon period we all Got to know each other and I told him my depression story. I told him I told him about me. He said he can accept me and he would fix me. I'm using the coats fix me, but I knew in the back of my mind that nobody can fix me. I'm sorry about the background in the noise Applause speaking in my office. I hope you guys can hear me. So he said he will fix me things went well for the past few days for a few months and in September that is 2019. I met him in his City. I was until I was in a hotel alone staying and I was in I was in my pit. I was in deep depression at that time, and I was very very depressed and I had my I have a green. Fill box so with my pill box I sat and I have come I opened up strips of my medicine. They are very small tablets of .25 in of Point 5 mg. I arrange them in an order and I looked at them. I was like, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? I just wanted to pop them in. I didn't know what to do and I And I was really really scared. I didn't know what happened at that moment in that September afternoon in that hotel. I just took them all I had the bottle in my hand. I took the pills and the other hand and I drank the water and popped in the bills and I gave him a call. My parents were in Canada as they had some work. I just called him I said this is What has happened? He rushed to the hotel and took me to the he took me to the hospital and I was unconscious they gave me a stomach wash and they sent me home send me to the hotel and I got I gained Consciousness after that. This was what happened and this changed everything. I understood that he just was a huge tragic thing. For him and it kind of changed what he thought about me. He said he does he doesn't he had like, I mean after that I went into a rollercoaster ride of emotions and I was completely disoriented and just a second. I'm sorry, but I'm talking about something. You can talk to me about public speaking soon. We can have a private call. Stood up be so anyways, as I was speaking we had it was a very difficult period at that time and I knew that I broke him. He said he had second thoughts about me like my parents knew about him his parents knew about him and we kind of dealt with it and his parents did not know about my my suicide attempt but my parents knew and he did not tell about all this to his parents. He kept it to himself. So another hitch to the story is that he is also depression patient. He is also a depression Survivor. And he went into depression. So he he told me that my attempt was the reason which put him where he was and it was very difficult for me to handle it and we had a tough time. It was a long distance relationship. And it was very very difficult for me and he kind of broke. Why did you take the pills or someone someone is asking mr. - I don't know. I was very depressed and it was one of my very tough depression moments. I'm bipolar as you know, as you might be knowing and I just did not want to live anymore. He did not. On you or have we didn't have any misunderstanding but I was I was depressed anyways, so getting to the point he we kind of had talks and I was supposed to move to his City and my transfer was in order everything was in place. We started seeing seeing a house we bought things for the house is spent on a lot of money on it and it was it was Is heartbreaking for me to know when he went to know that he had second thoughts but he never said no nor he said yes, so my father and mother thought that he's in a face of depression and he will eventually come out of it, but then reality struck and I had to go and meet him. I mean I had to go to take the transfer because the papers had come so when we told him that it's time. For me to move he backed out. He said no, I am not into this relationship. I cannot handle this girl and I don't love her anymore that broke me it made me. I don't know the minute. He told this to me in the afternoon over the phone and it was on January 25th. It was so difficult for me to take it, but I don't know I became Manic, I became restless and I took it like I don't know how I don't know how to take it. I loved him. I loved him a lot. But when he said he then we had a con he had a conversation with my mom saying that there were a few reasons why he did why he broke up with me. He said I was very impulsive I was adamant and I do things randomly and then I was who I am and things like that. So I Was very very hot. I am very very hot that I am that he had that he did what he did. The worst part is my parents are also affected because my parents trusted him that he would be the guy for me I was Very very hot and and I am very depressed. I was very depressed and then so about heartbreaks. It's kind of hurtful. Thank you for your helping me here. How am I helping you? I don't know. Okay. Anyways about heart breaks. It's very difficult because everybody undergoes them once or the other like once or the other they always in their lifetime. They would learn heart breaks. They will undergo heart breaks. This was my heart big story and surprisingly if you did notice I am not crying. I mean my voice is a bit trembling, but I'm not crying that shows for me that I'm holdin on. I'm holdin on and I'm coping it hurts his thoughts come his memories his face the way he used to talk to me the way he used to behave with me the times he used to call me. I miss him. I miss the person whom he was but I will not Define myself. For who I was with him. He was the one who decided to move on and leave me but I will not lose myself because of him so I decided that and I decided to move on. And I'm trying my level best. and thank you. Mr. I met but I will surely call you soon. As I finish this story. I will definitely please do give me some time when I can freely talk to you because I'm a spork right now. Anyways about heart breaks. It's very it's very hotting have I moved on obviously not I have not moved on. It's difficult to move on when you think that that's the person for you. And maybe I will move on Someday. I'm sure of that. It's it's very tragic don't you think so that you lose somebody you love let it be in the form of a person or anything. You lose something or somebody whom you love? He he gave me good times as well. But I am hot. It's just that I wish it didn't have to be for the worse. I wish I could speak some more anyways about the Heartbreak what I was talking about. If you are in pain today today being Valentine's Day thinking about the person who you're lost. think about the good times you had think about the good times you cherished with that person. Think about the times the person made you happy or brought the best in you. There are a lot of things in the world. You should try other things and get yourself another things. Yeah, I am trying I come to work. I try my level best to work and I don't I if I can I know I'm better because the times I go into depression or something tragic happens with me. I usually go on long leave and I fall asleep and I don't get out of bed. But today I'm sitting at work trying to work. Trying to spend those nine hours a day at office without without breaking down. And that's one of the that's that's really giving me a lot of hope that I'm getting better. so about the Heartbreak people people who are heartbroken. I know you are in a lot of pain and I know that every thought of him or her or even your dog or your cat or your pet or anything or anybody will will choke you. But those people or things. Gave you strength as well somewhere. Those people are those things or whatever it is. Give some goodness in you. So hold on to the good hold on to that amazing things. You became because of that person and thank them for who they are for giving you what they gave you that's it. So for me, I want to thank him for the following things. I want to thank you for making me realize that I was I'm an impulsive person and I have to work on it. I want to thank him for giving me the reason forgive me King me realize that I'm good enough for someone else. I guess. I don't know. I want to thank him for giving me a chance to be who I am. Maybe he is. The reason I'm fine today. Maybe he is the reason I'm able to work today. Maybe he's the reason I am able to be stable today. So I want to thank him for all that even though he hurt me. So this Valentine's Day. I want to thank him. So thank you for being there for me for the times you were there. You had to be there and it's unfortunate that we cannot be that together anymore. I don't want to say this to him. I don't want to pick up the phone and say this to him because emotions will attach. So I'm just saying it to him indirectly. And things like that. So if you're in pain Just Close Your Eyes let that person's face come in front of you. And just remember the good times you had remember the good times you were able to cope. Remember the good times the good memories. The pain which that person gave you. Might be a hundred percent right now, but see tomorrow, even if it reduces by point zero zero zero zero one percent. It's a success story. So trust me you are in for your in this battle or this mind game raise or whatever. You can call it for good. You will move on someday. I will move on some day but the day We'll come and I'm sure of it. You should be sure of it as well. So anybody who's listening? I don't know who you are, but I'm proud of you for fighting just heartbreak. I'm proud of you for being who you are. I'm proud of you for not losing yourself over someone. Just because the world is big and we are just one organism think of other things. He loved to party. I'm going to whatever you want to do. That's true. That's true. But sometimes it's very difficult and you're a strong person. I can sense that over. Thank you so much and I just want to close my eyes and I just want you all to close your eyes at once and just listen to what I'm saying. Remember the good things that you did to member the good person. You are no one else defines you other than yourself. There's only one person that defines you and that's the person you see in the mirror nobody else. So be proud of who you are and take care of and take care of yourself. You can surely help me with your tips. It would it would mr. John it will be really kind of you. If you could help me that that would be great because I also go for therapy and I'm open to any help. It's related to psychology and mr. Amin Al definitely get back to you regarding the spirituality thing, but please don't mind. I'm at work right now, and I'm hiding and speaking again for the third time this day. um, so I'm tired now I'm going to go offline and I am really Thankful to all of you for listening in. Okay, I'm going to listen to this person's call just a sec. Hello. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? So I'm not. Hello. Can you hear me? Yeah. Yes. I can hear you. Yeah, please do tell yourself. I'm supposed to follow me. I'm just a boy, okay? So, how are you doing? Yeah, I'm doing good. I'm doing okay as you can hear me. So what what is the what are the hardships you're going through? Like you have a just I'm just having thoughts about him. So I'm trying to yeah. Hello. Yes. Hello. Yeah, please. Okay. So what do I have to do? You have to break this habit of what we're going through is the Habit that because your world is with the person for long. That means that attachment part, you know, this is the hardest to get to see you here to do one uncomfortable thing every day. I try something very uncomfortable tomorrow. This will broaden your comfort zone and this will push you to like feel something new. We just have to feel something new, you know, you have to replace that emotion. Because if we just keep on thinking about the same thing do the same things you do every day, you won't feel a different because you are already accustomed to it. What will it do to go to party or talk with friends talk with Mom back won't work. Try to climb try to climb the tree as simple as that try try to jump from swimming pool. If I have never done that before try to Bath in very cold water like Ice Water started deep yourself, you would break out of that because it's a stance. Yes, you're in stems. You have to break the stance as Of them live in particular one week. I guess that's it. Thank you. I'll definitely keep that in mind and I will do it. Thank you. No, thank you. Should I leave the call because I think you were tired and I like So you guys heard break the break the routine. What you doing? Break the break the thing what you're doing as John helped us. So all if you remember that and break your routine, don't do something stupid do something sensible be aware of whatever you're doing be aware of it being mindful of it. You want to talk to me about public speaking as I said, we will have a Call because it was different. Okay? Okay, so about the Heartbreak. I'm calm now because I spoke to spoke to you all about it. So thank you for listening to me, and I'm going to come back with some more stories and things like that. So take care be calm. Have a good day. Have a good evening. Bye.