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Hello everyone. My name is Bala. I'm here with Josh who is a behavior trainer today. I have a question. Which about how do I? So one of the questions I have today is like when I join a new treaty, how do I get connected with them? And how do I get my opinion here? Yeah. So yeah, that's one thing that we have. I think we have a lot of people who are who struggle with and what I will say is I will there are this this is this happens at two levels. So one is When you are joining a team as a team member and now you want the team to listen to you and at the level that like we discussed followers when when you join a team manager you you are legion of the team. And so now you're the new team leader and now you're joining the team and I think in both cases, it's a profit becomes a bit of a problem until unless we know what is the to see the signs of you know, making people influencing people and how to get get a gurney or listening from people and although that so these are the two levels now are generally people face a lot of problems in in doing that. So if you learn as a team as a team member it's a problem that you will face because you will if people are not listening to you. It becomes a bit of an acting of you are upset and anxiety builds in new people new environment. It becomes a bigger problem for the organization when you join as a team leader and You we want people to follow your orders. If you don't want people to do things the way you want that things to be done. So there are the problem is of course team member team manages the new manager might face a bit of a backlash. So to say or difficulty convincing people and I can build on to sort of bigger thing. But as a team that organization also face organization also feels the picture of it because you know goals take Ahead the environment takes a hit and all those thing happened, but he's coming back to what are the things that we should do when we join a new team or when you whenever you get into an environment when you're dealing with new people. I think this kind of setup. Sometimes you might also find outside of office, you know, if it was fear also, so Justice clean that before that I just take you to a few things that That is the know that serving a simple we explain the signs of it. And so one thing is how do you want learning we get a takeaway from is how do you deal with strangers? And what happened really happens when you and I meet strangers so now human brain has developed over a period of time and the learning for human brain. Is that strangers are a threat, right? And this is a part of the green that It is there is the quick response part. We don't have to think about it. It's almost automatic response. So whenever we see three strangers, we the brain has developed evolved over millions of years to see strangers as threat add to that office environment where you're really fighting people for your Brazil scores and you're really fighting to make to for your survival at times and you really in Sometimes some of people find themselves in a bit of a difficult situation. So we are in a set of area already, you know fighting a lot of people so it sees a new person as a threat and the mind is involved to see the common response of the line is either fight or flight, right? So either they will fight or they will run away. Okay. I see if you questions I will try and answer questions towards the end. Thanks so much for the question. So so yeah, the normal response is run away or fight that person now in office. You cannot really run away you are going to deal with it. So people tend to start fighting until unless we take care of something we have which I will come to show people what they do is they start fighting and I say fighting, you know, we cannot fight like, you know the ancient method of warfare open out all our work, but we just have all to take world to it put a different. So the government will order fighting the respective it so in simple language, it is not been all over but it will be a cold one. The effects are equally is that it just that one takes its one is like slow poison and another one's really can do it one group. So yeah, what people tend to do is that we will start making your life difficult. They will not respond to your emails. They will not talk to you very positively some of them will take they are they will hijack the conversation. They will make it difficult for you to converse. Even if you have good ideas a good suggestion, they will speak over you or they will completely be indifferent to you and all those things happen. So that's like science of it. And so the learning from that is that if you are a stranger, I mean if you're new to the team what you what what is it that will be these are think if you start bringing your new ideas, if you start seeing things, even if you don't have bad intentions, you have to understand that people see you as a threat naturally because he was means yeah, right. Good that can also become a problem because now you're good and you're doing repetitive please so they feel uncomfortable. And so we have to take the polar opposite of uncomfortable and we have to focus our energy the first few days a few weeks with some people who are even more insecure. Sometimes it might take up to a month or so to make them all with the Holy Ghost. We have to go with the only sole goal that we have to make you feel comfortable. I am not attractive. Okay, and we can we do two things for that. Number one is hold on to your great ideas. Good ideas. No matter how bright they are. Yeah, just hold on to that because you might pitch them as great ideas, but they don't see great ideas a severe threat, right and they feel threatened and when they feel threatened they will make it. Yes, so hold on to your great ideas. Even if you have great ideas hold on to them and also listen to them a lot. Yeah, right. And when you're listening to them do as listening is not enough give them as much of respect and you know sort of be so sincere as true. Then I'm interested in you show them that you're really listening to them was really trying to understand. So this part of the painful first barrier crossing of the first value of building relationship has to do a lot with listening. So listen, but give a lot of tools that I'm sincerely listening then You have the other thing that you have to do. So two things while one is listening and also giving the sub point is that you have to give a lot of proof that I have this thing up sincerely listening. I'm really interested in you and you can do use your body body language facial expressions. You don't and Amity and the words to help you give them evidence that I will that make them a little bit uncomfortable and again who's on DUI, unless you feel that they are ready. And the second thing is appreciated find something that they're doing good and appreciate them again. What we cannot teach in training is we can teach you what how to apply. You know what I think you should say to appreciate but we can teach you how to be sincere in every situation like you really mean what you're saying and that's that's all of us who are training on body language or understanding. You still understand that so you have to really show that sincerity the mindset that will be convinced. Someone who'll always find a way to we are happy with but as long as you can get HSN people buy a size, that should be all right. Again, I'm not saying that go with that vulnerability in mind that I've been with every person advice but I will sincerely tried everything. But again, I should not be impractical thinking that everyone will be able to love the people in your heart. You should not stop. But again, that's the that's the Practical realities that appreciation and listen to them and hold on you guys. What is the threat is living means to me like If they feel threatened if I'm gonna grow this effect isn't as if he is very competitive in us because they feel like is it a good idea to put myself even though because it's mean of moving ideas which I have today, but I'm not telling because they will create. So what is my way of taking it back so that I will also get my friends. So how do you pitch your ideas despite knowing so Get whatever information you should I'm going to definitely do that. Whenever I come they cannot Feel That Again is so how do I settle it down so that I will start of the - that's actually a good question. So the thing is go with the goal that I have to push the ideas. I have a great idea. I have to create the idea. The whole thing that we are discussing is a journey to that to that point where you are ready, you're ready yourself and people around you to be ready to listen to you. ideas You have to put you later, right? That's that has to be done. But before that of because what I see is that specially recent example that I alone cause I'm going to quote that name as the individuals where I saw that Imani one team member came team manager kids and amazing ideas, but the team were doing for sort of good period of time the exam. So the thing is built a lot of relation to as much as in character and we all have our Only will do. So at least I cannot be used not be me. We all cannot be anyone else. But if you since you're what my experience has taught me that if you sincerely try you do when a long relationship, but are you ready to pay the price of investing your time and energy having the patience to holding on the idea is something that you should do and once you've done a little bit of work on it again, these things cannot be Quantified so I cannot say three days and four days and so many gone. Decision, but once you've done it after some time, you will realize that. Yeah, I think I'm sort of comfortable in this environment, even though only a comfortable and then you start pitching your ideas slowly and when you do pay Joy this you go with stuff, you know, simple things. Like how do you say like we discussed it's not about what you say. It's how you say so initially, it's good to be a little humble. Yeah. So when you say assertive person, I will understand you. I will appreciate you but I will also hunt we put across my I guess I can see a great example. I just really love what you said casually makes sense in so many ways the enough that I also have a very interesting idea. Would you mind listening to it? So nobody soft you awkward yourself pushing the door open for you so that you can you know sort of get any so, yeah initially a little hungry and then over a period of time you can when people start feeling comfortable you can be a little casual or informal about Your ideas because if it's more of a perception changes because I should concern about the relationship. Yeah, it's not like I should not be thinking that I will ask questions never die. So that that's important because when that we put them in that fly fighter kites, so have a good relationship and you will know because it don't if if we talk about itself just to give you a different example if you talk about any of the public sphere Jurors, they know when they have done a good job or not without people coming and giving the feedback when you listen to people when you're around some people you can very easily judge on a very binary scale whether they like you or not of like you whether they are comfortable basic things. You will know once you do that then start pitching pitching ideas in a soft way. And then also it will come after sometime. I think probably we will do that more in the next talk. Yes is how to present your ideas in a manner that your ideas are so strong that the people have to buy till now your work on relationship right? There are many other currencies that you can expect you to also it is known for a person who will bring absolutely strong and powerful idea. Because we'll be very open naturally. People will be very open and should be my Direction. That's that's your ultimate Direction like not just getting the results by give, you know, pitching ideas but also working on how do I makes good ideas. What is the thinking process of making good idea? If I thought that if I'm not encouraging my idea of stimulating factors the same ready for not sharing my idea. My idea generation capability will go. Yeah, so it is very like I've been asked to tell me I was just thinking that So how this looks like a lot of things is Girls behind it because I asked her to commit yourself to generate which is absolutely I mean I you talk about the meeting context waiting lady acts like the idea generation is also very very important Castle. So when you share your ideas, you need to say get more ideas, my dear. And also does it block your other idea if you don't put the things I like if I'm not if I'm not in the state for example while working on this situation because this is something exactly so if I say that I will consider them at the same time. I also concerned with I guess so While the time and this is taking quite long time. Connections, hold on. I'll just answer this question and pika pika. Yeah, so while I'm working on the relationship because it is a new terrorist collection burning is so will it happen my idea generation skills, so that both are new for me both idea generation. And how do I know what will happen and initially it will be available. What I would say is roughly routing look at it from extremes. She asked me for the sort of structured way of looking at it. I will say in human relationships human beings are very emotional things. Right? So we look at logic and emotions and whole idea is emotions are more powerful than logic and hence relationship building is more powerful than getting ideas across because relationship building falls in the emotional body of it and ideas. So I would say that yes initially. It will be a long task. I would still say Say that go with relationships because once you have built strong relationships, you know people were happy come with that. I best I guess so once you're angry or not long naturally happy over there. We are surrounded by 10:15 unhappy people who are unhappy at me directed at happiness is directed at so yeah work on relationship first. So sometimes for some time might be a little bit you might think that you are his generation is but Actually sounds nice steps are followed. It hardly takes like more than six seven encounters to make people can make people comfortable. So that would be one of the and if you're still rocking with your own in terms of meeting context where you have great idea and now you're like a fuse with HDR Saigon then definitely to download listening skills. It's because you're that ideas floating on the top of your head. So then when the best thing is that you are mine and out, you know out Also see ideas to open paper use a pregnant write it on the paper so that you keep it aside and then you can always connect. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello sir. So today's topic is how to get here in a team. So I have some questions. Yeah, please go ahead. So how do I get if I that in a team that all person are reliable. I mean that How can we rely on someone for example in new team is created. Okay, and we need to achieve some goal and we need to win competition then. How can we good relationship? Because sometimes what happens people feel so jealous? Okay, even they don't want that team and they want to win but they don't want you in a team acceptor. This kind of conflict will create so how can we manage this kind of issues? So can I shall just try to understand your question better? I'll just have a few questions. So you are suggesting that. Create a new team. Yes, it's are you talking about corporate teams? Yeah, exactly. For example. Yes, any kind of team, for example, we are starting a business. Okay, and we have Team some people who have been investing in it and there are some who investing load of money and some gives it ideas and something else. Okay. Now there are conflict that they won't do this thing, but another person don't want and they are some person who wants in think so, how can we manage? How can We convince other. There is something another way, for example, if we present a PPT that yes, there is a benefit in this room in this step Etc. Then they will convince so I'm asking there is another alternative for it. For example, as you said that emotional bonding and Etc. So can we implement this kind of bonding in corporate world and others? Yeah. So what can I say? I assume that was talking about this of course applies everywhere, but I was talking more in a corporate setup also this dentist. Changes a little bit emotional bonding is extremely important. When I say emotions again. These are powerful words can be misunderstood. But the thing is if I you working with a new team, let's say yes, and you have really built a very strong relationship with people in the sense that you honor the work, you know, you respect them for the kind of experience that they have or the kind of skills that they have and you show that respect and you understand and you constantly appreciate what they are good at. That itself builds a emotional bond. However, I would like to talk about that that rebuilding the trust part because we normally talk about you know, you should build a trust in a yes. Yes. Like I said, it's very important. We very very misunderstood that time so, you know because practical life is slightly, you know a bit of firefight also, so energetic ality when I say trust in in corporate teams are in any team, they will be trust factor. I will constantly day in day out if I'm working with a team I will Do whatever I can do to my goal will be a whatever I can do to build trust but I will also have because your it is about my investment of money. And so many people are depending on it. I will also like to keep a check and balance. Yes. I did like to test whether I can trust this person or not. So which is more important checks and balances important or trust is important because sometime both came together, okay, because a situation as will arrived at when you choose only I think that you need to test on someone or you need to do a check on a regular basis. So what is important thing? So I will like to answer this question in two different ways one is I would say that they have to be a balance of chicken balances and yet thanks residences and Trust there has to be a balance right? They are buying Bangles. This will be an example a very idealistic example, but if you really looking at building a very strong team both things Are done together, for example, if I can give you an example of cricket? Yes, the one of the one of the biggest stalwarts for Indian cricket across all generations has been sort of gangly. Yes people admire him. Now if you ask anyone who was groomed when Ganguly was Captain, there's one thing that uh, most of the people are say that Ganguly would come to them even if then they're performing bag. And it would still them that don't worry about performance. I will take care of your selection and you're dealing with in a way your selection process and all that. I don't want you to bother about that. I believe in you even a few bad performances. I am okay with Yes, I understand sir. Really? You are giving yes. It's a very man. You think that sometime trust played a major role because in Akron Cricket like teamwork Health Trust is very important played a very important role to so of generally having a you know, with the it works out in many levels. I'm working with a small girl who's having a girl who's preparing for exams and coaching. I saw that all she needed was she was told that she's not good at studies and she has some Countries with understanding and all that but after a lot of work of four for five days all we figured out was that just that her parents are not telling her that our you know, her teachers were not telling her that you aren't good enough. Everyone kept telling that you're bad. You're bad. You're bad. No one trusted. Yes, most of the Situation's how you communicate your trust is very important. If you really believe someone is good person. Someone is trying to do as much as they can and you believe that I disc is their talent and everything and you think that you can put your money on them. So them a lot of trust. But before you show them a lot of dress you should do some check whether you're dealing with the right person or not. Yes, I said I want to ask a question about my family. I can I ask you please the sir. For example in a family. There is a situation arrived. I have a younger sister. Okay, and I want to warn her trust. Okay, because I think that she's scared to share with me something. Okay, and the I know that what is future what is right now? What is the future of a student? There is huge unemployment and people any ants are wasting their time in nonsense things like Instagram and other things. Okay. They are talking with guys Etc. So I want to guide her but sometimes what happened see things I never want her to rest. That's why she never share her drawbacks and failures Etc. I want to teach her that listen this you if you are moving in this way, then there are these loopholes and these are obstacles you need to tackle this in this way. So I want to guide her but problem is that I'm not able to warn her to rest. She's not willing to share with me. Nothing, but in my family I am only person because my father was positive in year 2006. So after that I am the only male in my family and I have two questions, so I want to warn her dress but it is so difficult for me because some issue had been occur in my family. So that's why I think we so scared from. Okay. So yeah, so this is one canister. This is one thing which is you know, which is extremely important. And so I will first prepare you With the bad news. Yes, please winning trust is a very painful process. Yes exactly Sarah right now when I talk about example, that's why you will see we Noel. So I will again go back to Cricket. I went there are very few people who can earn that kind of a trust in my whole life and my career. I've only met one while leader whose team members trusted him so much that they would tell him that you know what I'm thinking of resigning from the company And he will talk to them nicely still after that and he helped him go take a good decision. So one thing is that winning trust will be a very painful process, but I disagree to pay for her. Are you ready for that? Next? Second thing is that they don't people don't trust because they think they will judge. I will judge you so you won't feel comfortable talking to me. Yes, somehow you'll have to tell even if that is, you know, you and I respect whatever he or she is doing. So if your sister is not ready to disclose, you know, you can go and tell that you know, I'm completely okay with you not disclosing things with me. I'm pretty sure you will take a good decision. Whatever you're doing. I am and then so to her that you're really concerned about, okay? As and you can only be on the boundary because you cannot serve it will be very violent to force people to say that. Yes, exactly the same thing I had done that's why I am facing this situation. Yeah. So why do you know what the worst thing happens is you might do one mistake, but people human beings remember the mistake forever. And yeah exactly they will forget every positive they were but they will remember once I did it for her bright future, but I think she consider it as in a bad way. So that's why I see this good. No, no, I And and that it's a painful situation and definitely I will bear it. Yeah, so sometimes it's good to you know, just because you're up we're talking about brother-sister relationship. It's also good to sometimes in a very nice way just go and say I'm really sorry for asking if there's anything anyway sincerely not just like saying sorry also become a formality not he's in a very sincere way tell her that show her because sorry is not a word it is action. Yes exactly. I am I need to know that I apologize and show her that I respect you for that. And that you are sure that I am really concerned about you and there are millions of way. If you start thinking about it their way, maybe various ways, you will find out where you can show that you are really concerned about. Yes giving them that roof and that will that should work definitely sir. It's I want to look at for example my elder sister my younger sister. Yeah last one season Class 7. So this is not good in it is the some time I beat her so it is good or bad because Because he's very bad image studies and she want to invest her time in like and gossip and Etc these things. So some time I beat her that why are you wasting your time? So is it good or there is another alternative because I tied her several times that we'd is this these are the consequences. Why are you wasting etc? Etc, but I in the end when I feel so anger then I sometime I beat her that no, this is wrong. This is wrong. So I think it's so bad, but how can I cope up with it? Because it's so painful for me. So kindness actually the that what you call is painful if you have to take the pain without beating or because without using violent words. Okay, let's stronger. It's because again, as I said is that people will remember your one bad thing, right? And again, there are cultural aspects to it. So I think in India, it was very okay to beat people children. Yes land that used to happen but not times have changed and we have to change it and I even otherwise a beating and especially with everyday Arjun six 7. Mm and I would say that even if there are four five three, it's as much as good at avoiding as much avoiding these things. I should not be it's better not to do this thing. Yes. In fact Raise Your Voice you'll have to raise your voice have more next time and then more next time only then they will hear you. So but if you started training them on being soft and being with them when they are failing just Spinks on their side when they are doing something wrong and then showing that you're really And then one day they will open up and do it and it's always good in any relationship that you do all take all the pain only for waiting for that day when they will you won't have to go and ask them or do you have any problem? Can I help they will come to you as you will be the only person they will come to you and tell you that I have a problem. So that kind of trust has a class to BYU really really it's a good conversation and I learned a lot and definitely I will do it and Implement in my life and death. I understand that what wrong things I had done in my life and Now it's a infection point for me and definitely I will change and now I will see beer more pain because I understand what is the love what is love if you are doing love to some example, I have huge love towards my family. So next I need to obtain because in love in a relationship, there is no expectation. There is only sometimes most of the time there is pain. So we need to Bear if they want someone at a great position. I will do I have one Question what my friends that in in my friends circle, there are a lot of friends. Okay, and I am a person who want to help other. Okay, for example, I want to help your child's and want to help others try to donate blood to someone and in and in many ways, I want to help Poor People's. Okay. So because I don't know why this this is my behavior. So sometimes what happened to pull people what they did I help them. I don't Nate my blood and I asked to my friend, please help Etc. And sometimes they ask me please grow. Someone need bread and I don't need my friend end after one day. I will send that that my friend sell my blood. So what I did because I consider all friends as equal. But after listening that they are selling my blood and my friends learned. So what nonsense is this and what I did was now what what is the what what can I do at that time so you because I They donated blood and your blood was sold by your friends. Yeah. Yeah in front of me at that time in front of me he take 1000 rupees and I think we will donate that rupee in over child's but what he did he go to a restaurant and eat a lot of food and Etc things, but after we have hours I realized that I did wrong thing because they are below were family to whom we are taking money. So I feel so sad then after that. I pay money back to him, but But what my friend did I feel so so bad and I can so what can I do? So that's where that that is a place where you identify. So that is why I said checks and balances. So now you want you have an ABBA X1 experience where you see that the abuse didn't donated blood and the blood was sold writing Sanchez and this is like the worst dump that you would have expected in this relationship. So now you know, so this is the that is the power of checks and balances you go back and say that this is one Listen, I'm not going to get of trust at least in this aspect. I may still be friend and you know casual talks and all that but I will not be able to trust you on this and that's what organizations also do with people with the CIA. Exactly and now I understand the importance of trust and checks and balance. There is a difference but to implement both things at the same time. It is very important because if you are not checking as well as on regular basis, then sometime back consequences will Also come so it is very important. That is very important to thank you so much. If anybody who who want to join then can join if there is no one then can I carry on? Let me see. I think there's one person who's asking. So this is one who feels in her aggression if you are willing with I just want to do to I was I just want to talk with you that I want to know that there are there are some questions, but I think that if you are not good with my And we invested as long as it related to the same topic, then I can probably ask other answer one or two questions. No, no apart from this. Okay, so probably next time when we do our open door, I will definitely yeah definitely so much that I just want to say to my listeners our listeners. I have you as a team because I have my idea so idea. We live in India and we have 140 growth equals Market. Okay, and we are using Chinese mobile phone China cap medicines of China and even mobile. Iwan American Mobile phones. Facebook works are Tick-Tock Instagram Etc. We are using we became a consumer Nation. So it's a version for India. I think this is a time when we need to create something because in this 21st century whole world is talking about artificial intelligence Quantum Computing a blockchain technology. That is it is it is added Peak Point. Okay. And right now what Indian did what they are doing like Sundar pichai is the CEO of alphabet and certain Adela is the CEO of Microsoft. So they are the biggest brain and Brilliant brain of India. So I think this is a time to do something. We need to create our own Google but people are scared to rise this voice and this topic in front of public, but it's I think you know, we are actually doing it. This is there are a lot of initiatives taken by government and that Shall we also you're absolutely right when you say this is a great time when we start by manufacturing. That's one place. We haven't done I think government is Apple of doing a quite a few and there are a lot of people who are working a lot on it sir. And that's a very good point that you're raising. I'm I'm saying manufacturer as well as in it sector also like we need to create our own Google because we have one particular people market and I think there is a lack of capital so I have idea that how to get capital. Need to import tax on inheritance inheritance tax wealth tax Capital Tax imposed taxes on school because there are a lot of private school who are there is income tax. So I need I think that they need to impose income tax on it. So it's idea to get capital and invest in research and development for next 10 years. Definitely sooner or later. We will create our own Google like who won because that's thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks. Hello guys. I think there was there are some other questions it has a question. I think we let's let's try and continue although he will so we'll just take another five minutes. So, I'm really sorry. I just have to leave. So I just you will just discuss five minutes and then we will surf it take to stop this conversation. So when over 30 yes, I understand like relationship matters are not willing relationship, which is opens the door for many other things. Yeah being because I'm beginning like so would you recommend any techniques to become a good listener? This is because of a good listener. Okay? That's okay. Let somebody talk with this of AIDS. So listening is the key for me to get into the condensation. So what are the things I should be looking at? Yeah, there is something which I need to do as a person and also because if I shouldn't be shown as a threat it is in danger, which I need to change myself because not just load everything is what are the things you would suggest like visualize so listening to basically listening is normally considered a very passive. Process again. I will go back to why do you want to be a good listener? That's one question. We also dancer for any goal that we are saving. So I want to be a good listener. So the question is why and one of most of the wise that you will look for in any any part of communication that you want to improve what is around influence seven constituencies. Yeah, and you can really influence people a lot and this some probably very good discussion point also for the some other power. Vision is what I want to be good listening to influence people. Now, how do you do that that you can do that without not by passively listening, but by actively listen And what I mean by that is when someone's talking to you can be sincerely show interest we can I can show interest by by you know, my facial expression. Bye. Bye. Bye my body language gestures. I can show interest by asking questions like and just interrupt them. And also you have a question or I can see I can sort of continue where they left and thinking what you were discussing about this last thing that you said point A B and C sounded really good to me and I'm really very happy with what you said. I actually haven't heard a lot love learn learning from that. I have one more question. Now, this was just you came to the question. This is where you use all the human. Psychology cling to one make the person make things like in a good mental state put them in good mental state so that the conversation becomes healthy. Then you created a good positive image about yourself by doing what you did and then when you ask a question now, this is asking questions showing you nodding your heads of few few responses that we give like, you know already two keys and all that all these Things are what we call active listing, but the purpose of all of this is in we can ask a question, but I can interrupt and ask question. I can ask the question that we just sort of give an example of do all of these things, you know, very music in very active manner with the whole sole purpose of influencing people putting people in a good mental state so that a conversation opens up their minds open up and so those are few things that you can do or listen, one of the challenges that people know me face is that we put a label on others. I did a positive label or negatively will if someone is if I put in negative label on somebody our listening drops. Okay, if I don't like you I don't listen to you. That's what I thought. So what we have to do is we have trained our mind and why do you want to use so you can go back to your why why should I because it's painful. I hate you and I like I know that I don't like you so I'm very convinced that you are not that I just give an example. You have are not a good person now. Two for you to tell that I still won't listen to you. We'll take a little bit of pain. Yeah, but if you train yourself on doing that what you will do is ultimately a very matured mind might will say that I do not like you as a person but this idea that we shed was really good so you can still filter out you don't have to fall in love with the person but you can still and if you can see that if you can put yourself at that level where you despite the fact that you dislike somebody you can still listen to the good ideas from them and you can convey to To yourself that despite not liking that person. I'm so you're very clear about what you like and what you so you create very fine judgments and the other person also likes because they see you as a person who despite the bad relationship still appreciates good ideas. So people do grow and by you and the relationship will also go from and these are all learnings of because we are talking a lot keep incorporate in my life. But these are these things can be implemented as you know in the same manner with a little bit of chicken salad. Oh, of course at home within families and among personal relationships and that helps you in a very powerful image of Yeah question has like I've seen some people certainly it is a conversation with somebody like Superior like manager or something. So I know that they for example if they ask them a question, I know they they know the answer, but just to please them like being that Flexible the conversation that pretend as if they don't know or they even though they don't want to put it up by that they are taking some benefits afterwards. Let's say I if I have to know this I need this kind of actually trading the relationship relationship by with something else. Is it a good idea because I see it is working. But for some reason I don't feel that is a comfortable vehicle and then you have to be very honest you're feeling so the thing is What they are doing is they are just the might know the answer to somebody but just to please somebody asking you have to basically especially and and other Personnel gives answer sort of funding kids create real. So one thing I always say about communication and influences all the things the the so-called tricks and techniques of or the science of communication. You can learn everything and you can either use it to influence his positively changing someone's mind and behavior or to manipulate which is With a very selfish intention of getting things done. Okay, so I will say I you know, that is if the intention is bad, that's something that personally I wouldn't recommend it. But sometimes if you think someone is very angry, they're not talking a non-moving out of office in Zurich personally. I'm not talking to you and this is a relationship with you value. You might go and ask them some very simple questions which you know the answer for just to get the conversation started. So you're not use those. Only different I'm talking about this. Yeah intentions. So if you do it with the Positive intention in some context it might be right. But if they are manipulating for some selfish interest after some time the other person will also start seeing that bad intention and it might As it is known today, but it is what I feel is that there should be a balance between the relationship holding a legal relationship is not one time ago. It is evident dementia who used to be feeling up. So it is more of a feeling up to the relationship rather than I concentrated. What was right? Like if I know the answer then it goes to Second and our community because I'm just concentrating into the relationship my I'm grabbing the attention. Because I'm compromising in my because I'm doing well and I get more benefit than as compared to so I see it is a is my understanding correct? Or is there something else I should so if I were to steal is right. So what they're doing is they're putting more effort in a relationship. I think the world could ever go back serious. So again, ethically it's wrong. It's wrong particularly strong. But again, I have talked about real world in real world Sometimes some people might get benefit out of it and the superior you may also like it so and they are just using the system. Yeah get ahead. So that does happen in real life. Ethically. It is wrong. Maybe someone is liking it but after some time well, and it's a typical question. Because usually it's more of value integration. So I may not like to do it, you know not like to do it. Someone is getting advantage of it and they are there are always a lot of opportunities people can get a take advantage many people do take advantage of him. That's fine. Probably again coming back to ourselves to centering the universe and ourselves and say that despite someone using these things to take benefits right? I should be strong enough to be still powerful than them and still progress. How can I do that? What are the tools that I'm building in my communication in my skill the dalit UPS so that no matter how strong they are how many how much manipulative people I can still be getting ahead in so again one thing that we should have is you have to face the reality that the world was more ideal. And as long as it goes in their way, it's fine. Sometimes it might turn against them. So that's fine for from our perspective. One is one thing I have to look at is if I monks or dealing with something like this is I should not make that as an excuse to say that over because they are they can take advantage that way. Obviously they will be more ahead of I should take that as a challenge and say how can I build myself a reason to put my So that that health I mean who is it sounds like a sort of a gang thing, but that's how we have to deal with it because I think Ali not all of us are in my maintain the same thing. Yeah. This is again have it. Like I keep finding these in Hawaiian language. It's all news all of us. We just have to catch ourselves, you know, red-handed doing it and then say, you know what has this is not acceptable. You can't make it as an excuse to run away from your personal challenge. So the vehicle please thank you very much for listening for those who are listening. I will have to stop here. Thanks again. Bye.