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Hi, this is your relationship coach and life skills coach. Well, I train and guide and Coach people on relationships dating and intimacy issues. So today we have a question coming. Her from - with joined me and requested me to talk something on dating an attraction. So let's bring on - I guess - you dare ya High School. Hi, so you have a question for me? Foods single guys out there that how to attract a good man. How to attract a girl or woman? Okay, how how hard this is my question. How do I trust yourself? Okay. Yes Valentine's Day is around the corner and many guys like you probably would be having this question that how do I approach the girl in the office or at the bar or at my gym or maybe at the park and people are left clueless and helpless and how to attract the attention of a woman. So before the dating game begins, I think the first thing is attracting attention of a woman, right? So instead I would like to say instead of attracting a woman. How about be saying become the chase become the charismatic you oh, you should not we should not be and the girls we should improvise are selling so that house Is us? Yes, absolutely. So in today's era we have women who also like to chase men not just be chased by you know, so today we have that opportunity where we can be chased by them. So to become that I would say, let's talk about how to become an attractive person that people wanted the women want us. Okay, they pick us up against the other. Hmm. My first suggestion or plaintiff would be become an attractive personality. Oh, okay when I say attractive personality. Well, it means that you bring out your Dynamic Self your vibrant positive self. Who's not only well dressed in blue but has energy about him that makes women notice him. Okay, we wouldn't guy who is dull or not. So bad dress is shabby not interested in himself rather post was alive who's very happy. You should be happy. You should be everybody around you yes or radiant personality. So who likes of those who would walk down the road with a hunch on a sad face even notice when we attracted to her, right? Wiseman any help when we look at men we see. Oh, wow. This guy has something that's so attractive and positive about him. So confident is the kill I would say confidence is sexy. Okay, so bringing out our self like I should be confident of my eyes. I should be confident of myself that I'm looking to then I should look good. Yes, because you know more than your looks your Vibes carry impression and attraction. So what kind of vibe are you giving? Are you confident kind of vibe or is it a someone who's totally nervous or is feeling helpless and it is not confident about the women around him, you know, so when a man approaches Waldman with a confident Body language conversation everything matters. Okay, so that brings us to the other part. What makes you more confident. How can you show that exhibition of your confidence comes from your body language? Okay. So we have one you have one question that part about overconfidence. Well overconfidence of someone who's self-obsessed and really sooner or later the girls doesn't feel interested. Stood in him because he doesn't give attention to the girl. He is focused on himself to be self-obsessed. Will either want you to be someone who's confident and natural attentive as well. So attentive and confident. Yes. Okay. So overconfidence is not something that we should exhibit because sooner or later women can sniff it smell it and then you are Just when you don't actually live up to the standards, you will showing off right? Hmm. Okay? Yeah, it's about the body language that we were talking about. So body language speaks louder than your words. Okay, eating the way you walk the way you talk and the way you sit. Okay the tone of your whole body. Mmm. Okay, and the way you make an eye contact with the guy All across the room or at the bar like are you looking at to in a very Sly or creepy way or looking at her with a glance which is of an appreciation or admiration? Because women can also sense. Are you staring at later on they're looking at all that also matters. Are you looking into her eyes and making a confident eye contact as eyes wandering? And looking very nervous with your glances. You should look at him like confidently into the eyes and make us smile, you know makes me smile. Big smile is contagious as soon as you smile. You might actually find the girl smiling back at you. Okay, so if seeing Smiles bags with a good sign, yes, exactly, then you know, she is interested in you all. She's also attracted to you at to you. Okay, so, of course, I was smiling faces better than a frowning face on no expression. Some people look big blank. Hmm. That's not the kind of personality woman would be attracted to hmm. Right you if you local very, you know expressive then the woman left confused. What is it that you thinking or feeling in her presence? Right, so I contacted one of them and this smile which is the first two things that you can do in order to exchange the you know, there is food. I contacted all like good attitude you can say. Yes, absolutely. So your body language should be clean clear and strong and powerful not confusing not lousy and boring it should Cross face and let who is is very aware of as masculine self your body language also expresses your masculine side. Okay. I mean, we feel more confident around a man who is in his you know, who is more strong and confident and tried in the way he's walking around or the way. He's sitting the way you sit onle sofa or a couch. or a chair also shows whether you are a person who is God confidence and is authoritative but not dominating over Conrad know that he is he should look cool relaxed and confident in its approach where he sets so let's say for example, he's sitting Is so far with his legs are slightly apart and the shoulders are straight and back straight his hands firmly resting on his thighs. Okay, rather than Sloopy grouping and hunching, you know, it is also good to lean forward with your body. No towards the gloves in case you sitting opposite to you. Okay, that shows that you're interested in are You're listening you're attentive. Okay, okay, but don't sit too close to her that makes her uncomfortable also, and also in what language you can say the way you touch her. Okay, the way you lean towards that convey a lot very you're touching over the slide-out sort of wavering hand or Have to be very natural when you you know, kind of reach out to her with your touch. Maybe just playing with her hair or just leaning forward listening to her brushing her hands or hold your hands right that shows your gesture your warmth your presence to her, but they all went to touch or went to lean towards so because it can either make us scared or turned off. What could be more touched by your Expressions body gestures? Hmm? All right, okay. Now that also brings us do beside your body language and your personality your station skills also matters. Okay. Looks like it's type of conversation the skills. So you can you please explain it a little bit. Yes. So conversation which are smart witty humorous. Okay, that makes it interesting to keep the car car. Possession alive and free flow because some of us that are running out of you know, what to say what to ask or what do you do? How do you start a conversation sometimes so it could be a very natural way of reaching its supposed to see someone at the gym or you just go up go up and say you could pretend I'm looking for the you know the instructor. Could you tell me where is he? Or you can say something like I've been watching you coming here for few days. How's it going for you? I noticed too and I couldn't help myself walk up to you and say hi, you know and so conversation breaking the eyes being the lead having the guts to approach a girl and start with one first line or two. All right. Yeah, and also when the conversation when you're meeting and talking to her try to be interested in her rather than only talk about yourself. Okay? Okay. You should have started government. Okay? Yes, because many of us when we run out of words or ideas or conversation it becomes it comes across like oh this guy's not interesting. He doesn't have much to tell or keep up the chemistry alive through conversation, you know, because Carlos communication is the foremost thing in any kind of relationship. Okay, okay with conversation you can build chemistry. They'll have your handful of questions. Like can you share something about his travel experience or how do you spend your weekends? Would you describe how would you describe yourself in one word? You know and what are you turn offs in about relationships or dating? So that way you get an idea about her is to what does she like and what does not turn on and turn offs ok? What investor and then from there you can queue up more conversation then there you can lead on. Okay, okay. So my eyes, do you know about that? I mean, do you know any kind of dancing? I don't reveal bit of dancing. It's like normal or chansung sensitive. Maybe Freestyle dance is tendency to like any good answer but I'm like digital curriculum. So I would suggest dance as one of the skills that you should hone it right because that is one of the ways that you learn to hold woman's lead a woman to the dance floor. And in fact does is like foreplay right? It's like your way to make it connect to her body which goes beyond words. Okay, and who knows when you're dancing on somebody finds fancies. Do you draw the attention? Right? And then if you know how to do is you can ask a girl out. Can I take you out for a dance and way you guys? Maybe she would be like wow. This is my guy. He knows how to make the Right Moves. You can fly to her with this Talent of yours. So having certain Talent like music or dance can also be a good way to enhance your persona and personality and you know dating charms. Okay good. So if I remember it, right we have like the guy should have confidence and you shouldn't have any a attractive personality. Yes. He should like his posture so should be bright and you should also have a good conversation should also talk of a good way to go and it should be about how early should not be involved a mercy and he Also be a good answer. Yes, exactly. And the last but not least. I'm going to share the a b c d e now does the fifth point I would like to share that is emotional intelligence. Now, you must be wondering what is emotional intelligence. Obviously so many don't talk about it. But emotional intelligence is an awareness of your actions and feelings and how you affect people around you with that. So, why did I bring emotion intelligence into the dating game or traction game? Well that displays your sensitivity to the others around you and wake you value them and also about how you reach out and understand their wants and needs. Okay, so you become very mature and pathetic and So which called deny a man like him rather him be more confident about him more trusting. She'll find him reliable. So these are the things that if you build our murals in your inner self that also make a woman one two, Okay, it means to you to be like having empathy about the girls and you should be like ha empathy is a good word. I think like intelligence. I just said yeah and within one of the main feature of emotional intelligence besides social skills as well as your being able to be aware and alert about the other person's needs. Okay. I mean, there are girls who complain that. He is so into himself. He doesn't understand my needs. He doesn't understand how I'm feeling or he is only considerate about his aspirations. So this shows off that the guy is not you know, sensitive enough smell when I go science these qualities in you who is a who's not so desperate. Operating needy but a person who is mature and reliable then they will be more attracted to you. They would like to keep in touch with you. Okay to not be destroyed not show our like they are very needy and we are very desperate and all these things. Yeah, we're all self-centered like so Anybody has any questions that we could answer before we wrap up. I think we have something to talk about but I've just chosen five pointers for today we have portion from Rahul. It's called he's asking which Tom's bomb we should take girls. Like it should be salsa is refreshed. Well, if you're comfy we each have a different kind. For residents with does I mean if you like dancing freestyle then go with a freestyle dance, but if you would learn salsa that makes it more sensual than said it is actually a chance for you to learn how to hold the leader controller. So that shows your mannerism shows your dance moves and sensual side of you. So I would first say salsa is the best dance type that you could catch on and the other one is Jive Jive is also very easy flow and very nice way of taking charge of your woman that you're leading on dance floor. Yeah. So we have another question also somebody is asking if if I'm a robot. So, how should I how should I? Because he's an introvert. He's an introvert. Okay. Yes until like guys or the shy guys they need to learn to enhance their social skills. Now before you go about hitting on a girl or reaching out to a girl and usually I would rather say that you go out to various meetups social events or workshops, which can help you to build your business entity and your skills and your learning so why is it getting a little comfortable with Among The Strangers in groups that it becomes easier for you to even connect with a woman out there or someone special that you want to connect because if you are introverted, this is the chance for you to First learn. What are the reasons for your you know being so words. Can you overcome those qualities? Because being an introvert sometimes didn't become a hurdle in your professional. And social life so allow yourself to be seen and heard maybe you could go and certain personality grooming claw. So you could take up a one-on-one coaching for yourself so that you can groom yourself if anybody wants to take like personal coaching or some extra points or some external learning from all right? Place we can get extra things for me is like, you know. All right today. I'll share only five points a b c d e if you noticed it, so I have more cluster of trainings online. I also know dating classes or I mean coaching online. I take one on one and I also take workshops in Bangalore. But of course if you are invalid then only you can meet me up all you can have video calls says Students as well as online sessions about your fears and challenges with dating but before dating I would first like to do to groom yourself build yourself and then go about, you know, reaching out and dating girls because it's not good when you just chase girls and they rub you all for the reject you you become you know, you feel rejected or you feel old. This is not for me, but then maybe they just for you, but you started it in the wrong way. You should become the Persona the Charisma and let the girls chase you okay, so you can be talk to me or you could join any other platform or any other place where you have are you are living if you have any opportunity there are classes online also on dating skills review for What are the Is that single guys will get else after the coaching and all? Yeah. Sorry. I didn't get you what are the chances that a single giant will be created girl after coaching at all. Like in group will be will not be an introvert anymore after coaching. Okay, so there are different types of problems and the guarantee depends on how much committed you are on your in the learning and of course I teach you also. How to reach out to through different platforms. I also help you to create your nap then go on to the dating app and know how to build your profile and her conversation online also, but then all depends on how are you taking the takeaways from me and acting on it and building yourself before you go about you know becoming available to other women? You know, so yeah, of course as far as the dating skills catch goes it depends on you first building your persona. And as far as I know it from my experience, they've only got better not worse and at least one day where you are at today. So you would have asked founded position. You would also find it. Yeah girls are interested or you'll find that you've at least found. Friends girls as friends and sooner or later you will also be able to have a special one. If you don't come across as desperate needy and creepy make sure you don't do that. Yeah. I think we should wrap up because it will be Breezy. I guess you got the answers - that you're looking for and important Point inside be always in my mind and I'll always thinking always do according to these points to only these five basic points and then I'm sure you will feel more confident to approach a girl. All the girls would be wanting to get in touch with you. So all that. I hope you the very best for Valentine Day and let's see. This would be about the do's and don'ts of dating. I hope to catch you once again, okay. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.